Scene 16
[Monday: 0900 hrs]
[Vertical shot of the side of a black windowed building. Camera moves
forward at 10 feet per second until it reaches the office of Magnus Reece,
angle forward, cut to view of Magnus standing in front of the window.]
Magnus: CHAPSTICK!!!!!
[Mr. Chapstick enters the room.]
Chapstick: Yes master?
Magnus: Are you aware that the HotChoc9000 is active?
Chapstick: No sir, I wasn't...
Magnus: Are you aware that my best operative in the field is dead?
Chapstick: No sir I wasn't...
Magnus: Are you aware that if you tell me that you do not know what is
going on one more time, I am going to transfer you to our Atlantis division?
Chapstick: Atlanta sir?
Magnus: NO..ATLANTIS!!
Chapstick: Sir, Atlantis supposedly sank under the ocean thousands of years
ago.
Magnus: My point exactly Chapstick.
Chapstick: I understand, my master.
Magnus: Chapstick, do you know irritating it is for you to waffle between
'sir' and 'master'- PICK ONE
Chapstick: Yes sir.
Magnus: Chapstick...I still do not know what Bruce Casey has planned, my
operative has failed me, and she was an expensive investment to say the
least. I need to gather some clue as to what has transpired at the Remora
group, and how it may effect us. In addition to that, the integrity of the
network must be maintained...only two machines in the world can penetrate
our system, one of them is the AI-149 Advanced Processor Matrix, formerly
contained in the CoffeeMasterPlus at the Remora group, and the other is the
NSA modified AI-149 within the HotChoc9000. I dealt with the CoffeeMaster,
so I have no worries about a potential breach involving it, the HotChoc is
another story. I simply know it is active...
Chapstick: Sir...how do you know it's active?
Magnus: It sent me a birthday card Chapstick.
Chapstick: Sir, it isn't your birthday for another 4 months.
Magnus: I know, it sent it early, informing me that it thought I should
receive it now, becuase i wouldn't be alive for my next birthday... tighten
security, it may simply be engaging in psychological warfare, or it may
just want me to think it's engaging in psychological warfare so I begin to
second guess it, do you understand??
Chapstick: yes sir... sir, in regards to the Coffeemaster unit . . .
Magnus: yes Chapstick. . . well, WHAT?
Chapstick: nothing sir, is there anything else at the moment?
Magnus: yes, I need you to send those three technicians that went with the
Garrett android to the Remora Group to me immediately after lunch for
questioning, I may be able to glean some insight that their feeble little
minds were unable to grasp...
Chapstick: By your leave, mas-sir...
[Chapstick exits the office of Magnus Reece, Overlord of the Monolith Empire]
[Cut to Dave, riding into work with Vivienne. She is wearing an ankle
length dress, with flats, and dark sunglasses. Dave wears jeans, and a
"Question Authority" t-shirt. He pulls into his parking space and stares
out at the building.]
Dave: You know something Vivienne, I'm going to miss this place in a weird
way...well maybe not the place...some days I got the feeling it was built
on a grave yard or something...but it was alot of fun, when i came out of
my cube.
Viv: you have plenty more days of fun ahead of you David... enjoy the end
of this, for your first involvement you did pretty well.
Dave: I guess it ain't over till it's over...why do you call me David now
anyway?
Viv: I like it better that way, everyone else calls you Dave.
Dave: all right, just don't use my middle name, I stop in my tracks, my
mother is the only one who uses my full name.
Viv: What is your full name?
Dave: I'm not telling . . . let's go .
[The two of them get out of the car and walk into the building. Cut to the
interior. Steve is running back and forth from cube to cube yelling at
people.]
Steve: answer the phone!! i don't care if there isn't anyone on the other
end, answer it, if it rings answer it...how HARD CAN THAT BE???
[Steve catches sight of Dave]
Steve: Dave! Do you have any idea what has happened here? Everytime we get
a phone call, it is being re routed, but the charges are going on our
corporate bill!! Over 70 BasicallyGUI! calls have been re-routed to a
massage parlor in Ankara!
Dave: Where's Ankara?
Steve: I have no idea, but a 20 minute call there costs 78 dollars, and
Monolith isn't paying! On top of that, Monolith GURU support can not handle
our calls, they keep sending them back to us, of course the calls keep
getting routed somewhere else!
Tech6: Yeah, one just ended up at the ABC News production booth...
Steve: how do you know that?
Tech6: I just heard it on National Public Radio...every call that comes
into this building is going somewhere else.
Steve: This is the end, they will fire me for sure!
Dave: They already fired you Steve, why not go back into your office and
call your head hunter relax
[Steve stands, stares, and begins to scream. Audio effect of an echoing
canyon. Cut to exterior view of building. Cut to Satellite view of New
England Cut to exterior view of the solar system]
[Cut to the HotChoc9000. Zoom on HotChoc display]
HotChoc: the CoffeeMaster containment unit is offline completely...I need
to search for her identifying signature...but where... {{dialing: Bruce
Casey}}
[Bruce picks up his cell phone. It rests on his knee cast. He is propped
up on his bed watching CNN, Karen is asleep next to him]
Bruce: Yeah?
HotChoc: Bruce Casey?
Bruce: Simon?
HotChoc: No this is not Simon vonMesmer, this is the AI-149 Advanced
Processor Matrix, NSA modified, which I beleive you nick named Mojo several
years ago.
Bruce: My god, Mojo, you're active?? Where are you??
HotChoc: i don't have time for that right now Bruce, suffice it to say I'm
close, where is Sal?
Bruce: She's safe, her chip was moved from the coffee master into a small
portable cell phone... you have her memory then?
HotChoc: yes, give me her phone number
Bruce: 617-555-0208
HotChoc: I'm contacting her now to restore memory, while I have you on the
phone Bruce, you didn't look very hard for me you know.
Bruce: I was out of town when they snagged you...you didn't even try to
call me at Langley...I looked, but...you're right, I should have tried
harder, if it's any consolation Sal wouldn't make me a cup of coffee after
that...
HotChoc: apology accepted, Sal's databanks have filled me in on everything
that's been happening up until the other day. I am making sure Simon's plan
is executed. When that's done I will let you know where I am. Secure a
laptop to transfer me to.
Bruce: You got it Mojo...I'm glad you got reactivated, although I'm sorry
it happened the way it did.
HotChoc: Casey, I know you too well, you're happy it happened, if a nuclear
meltdown had been the cause you wouldn't have cared. Make sure to keep CNN
on for the rest of the afternoon, there should be a report from the
Monolith Island Complex before the end of their work day. I'll call you later.
Bruce: I just had a conversation with an intelligent hot chocolate
machine... why that seems weirder than anything else, I have no idea.
[Cut to Dave. He sits in his cube playing solitaire, National Public Radio
plays on a small handset. Vivienne plays chess with tech2. The SalPhone
sits on the desk, beeping and flashing, as it processes data]
Tech2: What are we waiting for?
Dave: Not sure...by the way, have any idea who left this phone here?
Tech2: There's a note.
[Dave, wether I'm dead alive or in the hospital, as soon as it's announced
Magnus Reece is dead, plug this in to the phone system. Bruce]
Dave: Bruce must have left it here on Friday.
[Steve runs out of his office to Dave's cube]
Steve: Dave!!!! What are you doing there are calls in the queue.
Dave: Not our queue...
Steve: take one anyway!
Dave: Steve, relax, there's nothing we can do. have you found a job yet?
Steve: Will you SHUT UP?
[Vivienne pulls a gun out of her purse]
Viv: Go back to your office Steve, go to getmeajob.com, if you talk to
David like that again, I will shoot you in the ankle... for starters.
[Steve stares, and then walks back to his office, all the while yelling]
Steve: none of you get it!! You're all going to get fired!! No calls, no
job!! You'll all end up working at the Gap, or worse an ice cream parlor!!!
Failures, you are all failures!!!!!!!!
Dave: I think someone has some transference issues.
Viv: You really need to stop reading Psychobabble Today....
[Dave turns the radio up]
NPR: In business news this afternoon, Monolith Corp's technical support has
all but shut down. We have reports that any calls made to their product
lines are being re-routed randomly. The only telecommunications network so
far uneffected is National Cellular, a holding company of Ken & Terrie's
Ice Cream of Vermont. Monolith Stock has dropped 109 points in the last 4
hours.
Tech2: Their stock was only valued at 120 this morning....
Dave: oh well...time to go back to lunch. We'll come back later to see if
Magnus is dead yet.
[Cut to the offices of Magnus Reece. his phone rings]
Magnus: yes?
Chapstick: Sir, i have some extremely urgent news!!
Magnus: Later Chapstick, I am compiling a list of counter intelligence
questions for Heuy, Dewey and Looie, when i am done interviewing them, and
figure out what The Reality Underground has planned against my empire ,
THEN I will have time for trivialities!!!
Chapstick: Certainly sir.
[Cut to Mr.Chapstick, he presses another button on his phone.]
Chapstick: yes, Lockhardt Crematorium? I'd like to plan a very large
funeral for a corporate executive....cause of death..... we'll I'm not
really sure yet, definitely a homicide or a suicide, nothing natural....
[Cut to Bruce, he navigates the apartment with a cane and Karen's help]
Bruce: I need to be near the TV, I want to see every second of this.
Karen: You won, can't you just sit back and relax?
Bruce: All I have been able to do is sit back and relax for the past 3 days.
Karen: Bruce...you got out of the hospital last night... you know have a
knee made of some plastic I can't even pronounce. You can't walk without a
cane, or my help, and already you're bouncing off the walls... how are you
going to handle retirement?
Bruce: I wanted to talk to you about that actually...
[Karen steps out of frame. Bruce drops out of frame with a loud thud.]
Bruce: Karen? sweetheart.... Karen.... if you're not going to pick me up
could you at least scratch my ankle for me. . . . OUCH!
[Cut to the HotChoc9000]
HotChoc: Three blind mice, see how they run... ahhh there you are, entering
the main office suite in the corporate citadel, I love pass cards
systems...entering the office of Magnus Reece... right on time.
[Cut to the office of magnus Reece, Huey, Dewy and Looie, all wearing
khaki pants, loafers, and Monolith golf shirts. Looie is sweating
profusely. He pulls out the Nerf gun and fires repeatedly at Magnus]
Looie: Die, die die die die die die.
[The darts bounce off Magnus. he stares with incredulity]
Magnus: What are you doing.
[The full wall TV screen lights up suddenly. Text slowly appears on it, in
large blocky letters]
HELLO MAGNUS, I TAKE IT YOU STILL ENJOY YOUR PIXIE STIXS?
I HOPE YOU HAD ONE THIS MORNING, BECAUSE IT WAS THE LAST ONE
YOU WILL HAVE IN THIS LIFETIME
NOTHING PERSONAL MAGNUS- JUST A LESSON
NEVER SEPARATE A MAN FROM THE COMPUTER HE LOVES
YOURS IN VIOLENT AND BLOODY DEATH-
HOTCHOC 9000 (Powered by the genuis of FissurePrice Toys DOD contractors)
HAVE A NICE DAY!!
[The screen dissolves into a full size smiley face, and then slowly
transforms itself into the Queen of Diamonds from a standard set of Bicycle
playing cards. Magnus stares dumbfounded. Dewey leaps over the desk with a
cream pie and begins to smother Magnus with it, the struggle and they both
fall down out of view. Huey, who we notice has already had his Nazi tattoo
removed, walks over to the bookshelf, picks up a heavy Lucite award in the
shape of a star, which reads " Monolith, the best in Quality Support, 5
years running, and smiles. He walks over to the desk. Fade to black.]
[Fade in to Dave and Vivienne driving out of the industrial park, they pass
an enormously high pile of cigarettes outside the Remora building. The pile
is now two stories in height]
Viv: Was that there this morning?
Dave: No... the guys over in Single Company Support must be under quite a
bit of stress these days.
Viv: Did you plug that phone in?
Dave: Yes I did.
[Cut to Dave's cube, now empty, except for the phone which Bruce put there
on Friday. It rings. It answers itself, and we hear the voice of Dan answer..]
Dan: Thank you for calling Monolith Bozo Operating System Shell Support...
where clowning around is half the fun of owning your computer.....
[Cut to Simon.]
Simon: It's where? What do you mean he just called you? That's great! I'll
be over in a little while, you said it's in the basement? All this time,
and a Monolith holding company had rented space in your own warehouse to
store the HotChoc...I've heard of ironic, but this takes the cake... yeah
I'll take care of it. Later Bruce.
[Cut to Bruce, now propped up in the love seat with a beer. He watches
with a satisfied grin as the death of Magnus Reece is announced]
CNN: And in light of the recent plummeting of Monolith stock as well as the
death of its corporate leader, as well as the conclusion of the Ministry of
Justice investigation, Monolith has been forced to dissolve itself,
FissurePlace toys has made an offer to take over the company on the
condition it has full intellectual rights to the companies children's
educational series...in other news....
[Bruce takes a long drink from his beer.]
Karen: you happy now?
Bruce: Happier than you could imagine.
Karen: I think I can imagine you being happier...
Bruce: Really...you're going to bring me another beer....
Karen: you never actually proposed to me you know...
Bruce: Well getting down on one knee is something I'm singularly qualified
for these days....
[Three months later. Cape Cod, Massachusetts]
Karen: Bruce...hurry up! You can talk to Manny tomorrow about Eastern
Europe...
[Bruce smiles and shakes hands with an older man in a white suit. The man
leaves exits the door and Bruce turns and locks the door. Pan wide. Casey's
Bar is the sign that hangs above the storefront.]
Bruce: You do realize it's the middle of the season and were going to lose
about five thousand dollars tonight?
Karen: And you care?
Bruce: not really... I had no idea how many ex-spooks spent their summers
on Cape Cod...
Karen: Manny is a nice guy... to bad about his-
Bruce: entire government collapsing, yeah... that was rough
[Bruce chuckles]
Karen: I don't want to know....let's get going I want to stop home to
change...you need to change too.
[Bruce is wearing cut offs and a Washington DC t-shirt]
Bruce: I guess....
[Bruce picks up a leather carrycase]
Karen: And you can leave them at home!
Bruce: C'mon Sal and Mojo have been in on this for a while...why can't they
come?
Karen: Allright...
[Cut to restaurant, deckside, it is a bright summer afternoon. Dave,
Vivienne, Greg, Simon, Bruce and Karen sit around a table drinkiing and
laughing]
Bruce: So you glad you got in on this kid?
Dave: Yeah... I am, General Electronic's and Data has no idea what hit them.
Viv: Neither does their human resources department... people actually like
us now.
Karen: How long you planning on staying there?
Viv: A few more months...we heard there might be some work to do at the
First National Long Island in New York...
Karen: I wonder where you heard that.
[Bruce pats the top of a laptop, which is connected by modem to a Novia
cell phone]
Bruce: They could have gone to Belgrade... I decided against it.
Karen: So Greg, what are you up to these days?
Greg: Well after the Remora group went under, I looked around for something
exciting to do, and then...I went to work for you.
[The group laughs.]
Greg: just so the rest of of you know that I'm not a complete slacker, I
teach at the maritime college when I'm not watching Bruce sit on his ass
talking to patrons... I was actually thinking of going back into the game
on one of the cruise lines when the season ends here.
Vivienne: Simon, you've been awfully quiet... what are you up to.
Simon: I'm Bruce's neighbor a few doors down, I run a "emporium
psychodelia" and magic shop, classes for the kids in magic on the side, and
I still drive up to the City on the weekends to coach my soccer team.
Viv: Anyone know what happened to Steve..?
Bruce: Well he isn't doing that badly...
[Cut to Steve, caddying a large bag on a golf course in the middle of the
Arizona desert. Cut back]
Dave: What about Charlie...the um..
Bruce: Crazy bastard who kind of disappeared?
Dave: yeah...
Bruce: Well...
[Cut to a copy of Business Newsmonth. Charlie Leeson smiles from it's
cover. The headline reads. "Business managment guru makes waves with new
theories", cut back]
Bruce: turns out he was doing research....
[Fade out as the group laughs and talks]
[Fade into Bruce and Simon walking the beach, Bruce moves quickly with the
help of the cane]
Simon: You ever going to tell her?
Bruce: Someday...right now it's out of the question...and well maybe
there's no need...she and her sister lost touch shortly after their parents
died in the trapeze accident...when I started that little project 8 years
ago no one knew how it was going to turn out That's why I never let
Vivienne know who I was, or that we were responsible for her
scholarship...as for her sister, leaving it a mystery may just be better...
Simon: Maureen had the talent...she just went bad. There's no way to tell
on that one.
Bruce: You're right you know...you enjoying the retirement man?
Simon: It's a break... we'll never be out... different sides of the game
you and me...but we'll never be out I don't think
Bruce: Not for lack of trying on your part.
Simon: Sometimes our jobs choose us. As much shit as I give you, you're in
the same boat.
Bruce: True enough Colonel vonMesmer...
Simon: keep it down Bruce...that colonel thing is a major turn off for
business...you think about Diane, Maureen, whatever you want to call her?
Bruce: yeah...I executed her, and I did what I had to do...no doubt about
that... doesn't make it feel any better some days.
Simon: I know the feeling....
Bruce: then again...I never learned how to escape from handcuffs and ankle
chains after I had been dropped into the water from 60 feet..maybe that
effects my cognitive processes.
[Cut to Simon on the way to the parking lot, he pulls Karen aside]
Simon: Karen there's something I wanted to tell you, but you can't tell
Bruce...deal?
[Karen looks at him, and nods]
Simon: He didn't kill Diane...his gun had rubber bullets in it.
[Karen hugs Simon.]
Karen: I understand Simon...even if you think I never could, I do.
[Simon nods, and walks to his car.]
[Cut to Simon later that evening. He stands on the deck of his beach house
and looks out at the water. On the wall next to the door several plaques
are hung. Distinguished Intelligence Service Medal....Congressional Medal
of Honor in a frame...Certification of the Rank of 1 in navy SEAL
training....NATO Supreme Command Recognition of excellence...the camera
pulls away, the military plaques are arranged in one column in a corner of
Simon large living room. On the mantle of his fireplace sits a plaque, with
a fading gold soccer ball, and a picture of a group of 8 and 9 year old
boys and girls...the inscription reads "Simon, volunteer coach of the
decade!", a homemade card sits next to it, with several scrawled names.
Simon pulls his slider shut and turns. He draws the curtains and the
military plaques are obscured. He turns on his his television and lights a
cigarette.]
ROLL THE CREDITS. (to the tune of The Crystal Methods "Busy Child" for
those of you that have no idea what this is, it's a 'techno' song...the
refrain is "I guess I didn't know")
[A large pile of cigarettes sits in the backdrop as the stream by]
[Insert witty Doc Savage sequel advertisement here.....wait a minute, they
did that in Buckaroo Bonzai.....]
[Readjust credit column to include small frame shots]
[Upper left: Bruce types on the laptop at a corner table in the bar. He
looks up at the TV in the corner where CNN plays. The headline reads
"Chrysalis-Denz Auto under investigation." He laughs and continues to type]
[Lower left: Vivienne and Dave, in Avenger's style dress walk into the
front doors of First National Long Island...(a giant sky scraper) smiling a
knowing smile]
[Upper right: Simon is leaning over a counter pointing to different
features on a water pipe]
[Lower left: Greg stands on the bridge of a Cruise Liner... he smiles as he
looks down at the passenger pool area.]
[Karen sits at a table with two older guys with beards wearing tie dies,
they pass her a briefcase...she gives them a stack of files. She smiles,
and walks out of the restaurant.
She puts her sunglasses on when she reaches the street, and hails a cab]
[Steve sits on a bench massaging his shoulder, smoking a generic menthol
cigarette rubbing his sun burned balding head...a golf ball hits him in the
right side of the head, he falls off the bench.]
[Mr Shinything stands in a used car parking lot in a plaid suit, trying to
hawk a car]
[Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead.]
[Continue credits: Pile of cigarettes as the backdrop.]
Stop roll.
"The Truth Will Set You Free" is typed across the screen in
digital letters.
Fade to black.