SCENE 5
[We find our hero at home, standing in front of a window watching the
snow fall. The street below is quiet. Nina Simone plays in the
backround. Dave holds a bottle of beer, near empty. Pan room. Medium
sized living room/home office. Several computer monitors sit on desks
around the perimeter of the room, with chairs, a couch , and
bookshelves wedged in between. A tiny electronic bell sounds, and
Dave looks over to his computer. It notifies him he has a CHAT
request. He answers the Request, sent by Diogenes]
Dave5678: Hello?
Diogenes:Hey Dave, it's me Bruce.
Dave5678:What's going on?
Diogenes:Sorry about earlier today, I had to take care of something
inside.
Dave5678:That's OK. You up for a beer?
Diogenes: Sure, where do you want to go?
Dave5678: Weatherman's?
Diogenes: See you in 20.
Diogenes has logged off.
[Cut to snowy street, as Dave get's into his car, a large black van,
with the logo I nternational C ourier's U nion drives slowly down the
street. There is a small sattelite dish on top of the van. Cut to dark
interior of van. Lit computer screens. Unseen voice speaks.]
Voice: Sir we have acquired the subject, instructions?
[pause]
Voice:Understood.
Voice: Pull to the side at the next phone junction box you see driver.
[Cut to the interior of dimly lit bar. Advertisements for imported
beer adorn the walls, intermixed with photographs from various famous
tourist sites. Smoke fills the air. A jazz band plays in the corner.
Bruce and Greg sit at a small table in the corner. Cut to Dave walking
through door. They wave him over.]
Greg: hey Dave, roads bad?
Dave: Not really, just flurries.
Bruce: So you enjoy the meeting today?
Dave: Not really.
Greg: We didn't think so.
[Waitress stops at table.]
Dave: Julius Echter please.
Greg: AND he knows his beer.
Bruce: I told you he was a good candidate.
Dave:What are you guys talking about?
Bruce:Where do you want us to start?
Dave: Try the beginning.
Bruce: That would take too long, how about we use some visual aids.
[Bruce tosses a manila envelope on the table. It is marked EYES ONLY.]
Dave: What's this?
Bruce: Answers. Or a pieces of a puzzle that when put together form a
coherent picture of a conspiracy.
[Dave opens the envelope and shakes out a pile of newspaper articles
from around the country. OS guru killed in freak Mixmaster accident.
Monolith makes strides in OS market. Son of PC CEO missing. Monolith
strikes deal for OS prepackaging! Son of PC CEO found in Miami. Xenon
research develops new programming language. Chief of Xenon research
arrested for public indecency. Monolith releases sight based software.
Conflict in Northern Ireland Continues. Monolith opens European
Distribution in Belfast. John Workes abandons CiderSoft for
undisclosed reasons. Monolith purchases controlling share in
Cidersoft. Prozaic software goes bankrupt! Monolith releases Online
Adventurer.
President is really from Mars! Starbucks open's kiosk in the Vatican!]
Dave: All of it establishes a pattern except the last two.
Greg: Oh, Monolith owns Starbucks.
Dave: And the President?
Bruce: Sorry about that, he's really from Brockton, MA, that's just
part of his disinformation campaign in the Midwest, and New Bedford.
Wrong file.
[Dave takes a long drink of from his beer]
Dave: So what's the deal, what are you two up to?
Bruce: I used to work for the government, when I did, I took care of
some details for friends of the Company, namely Monolith. Give us a
cutting edge in foreign markets, boost internal economy. Then it went
too far. They bought out half of my section, we were sent into an
ambush. Six of my friends were killed, and then, to top it off, the
bastards prevented the American version of Doctor Who from getting
past the pilot episode. They're lying theiving megalomaniac's, without
a sense of honor, or even loyalty to something vaguely resembling an
ideal. They're pretty much the prototype for a corporate oligarchy,
and are trying to establish a foothold as a second government above
our own. We intend to stop them.
Dave: ooooookay
Greg: Believe him or not. I was a tug captain in the Merchant marine
for 4 years, one night I'm on deck drinking my tea, and this
submarine, a goddman SUBMARINE rises up out of the water, and starts
to torpedo the ship I'm tugging. Monolith logo right on the side of
the conning tower.
Dave: What was on the ship?
Greg:The freighter was carrying the entire shipment of HAL's Disk
Communicator LightSpeed
[Dave takes another drink, and then orders a second]
Dave: So what you're saying, in a round about way, is Monolith is
trying to take over the world.
Bruce:They've said it themsleves, Monolith Software in every house
blah blah. This goes beyond a desire for world power though, they also
take themselves seriously.
Dave: I'm in, whatever it takes, just tell me where to start.
Greg: You need to start wearing jeans….
[Cut to next day, lunch time, Dave appears at the edge of Bruce's
cube wearing jeans, a WKRP tshirt, a flannel, an earring, DockMartins
and crystal around his neck. He stops to listen to the muffled
conversation, he notices a distinct drop in temperature, and a cup of
frozen coffee ontop of Bruce's cube wall.]
Bruce: Tony, I know they killed you, and I know speaking through a
plastic Pez dispenser is well, not exactly in line with your beliefs,
but it was the best I could do.
Tony: This isn't how it works! I'm dead! I should be gone by now! Over
with!
Bruce: Tell me who killed you.
Tony: Um….it's kind of embarrasing.
Bruce: We know you choked on a pistachio nut, what could be more
embarrasing-
Tony: you have no idea-
[Dave pokes his around the cube. Bruce is sitting alone, in a heavy
wool sweater, an ugly pez dispenser sits on the edge of his desk]
Dave: Lunch?
Bruce: Yeah, let's go.
[Bruce and Dave pass several coffee machines which blink angrily as
they pass. They arrive at the same spot they were two days before, but
the cafeteria is gone.]
Dave: Where did this wall come from?
Bruce:Hmmmmm, the cafeteria WAS here the other day wasn't it?
Dave:Yeah.
Bruce: Let's try the janitor's closet.
[Bruce leads the way, he opens the door to the janitor's closet. It
is empty, except for a blinking coffee machine]
Bruce:Allright, where IS IT?
[The coffee machine display scrolls: You're pathetic Bruce]
Bruce: Listen, I'm sorry they got rid of the hot chocolate, but I
couldn't stop them.
[Coffeemachine: Still the same lies, you bastard!]
Bruce: This is getting a little ridiculous, you're telling everyone
where it is except us, aren't you?
[Coffeemachine: What do you think, you self important ex-CIA bozo.
James Bond can't find the Cafeteria HUH?]
Bruce: Forget it.
[Bruce closes the door. Dave stares at him, waiting for an
explanation to, among other things, what the whole dialogue was about]
Bruce: They were an experiment in AI surveilance, all networked
together with one central 'brain'. To give them company the hot
chocolate machines were programmed as well. The personalities were
different genders, and one day, the company discontinued hot chocolate.
Dave: So it's lonely?
Bruce: Worse. The coffee machine and the hot chocolate machine network
were engaged. The coffee hasn't been the same since.
Dave: wow
Bruce: I guess were going out for lunch
[Cut to Greg, standing outside Human Asset Management and Regulation
of Yearly Employment. Diane walks out of the office, holding a large
pile of papers]
Greg: Hi Diane, I have the Quality paperwork from BasicallyGUI!,
MOFO-XPRO, VersionVAULT, and VOYDStarZ for you.
Diane: Oh thanks…could you help me with these, they're awfully heavy.
Greg:Sure…hey, is that a Umass Alcatraz Ring you have?
Diane:Yeah it is, I got my degree in psychology there.
Greg: I played rugby there, you look familiar, were you a cheerleader?
Diane: YES!
[Greg smiles evilly at the camera]
Greg: Did you cheer for all four years?
Diane: As a matter of fact, I've been cheering for one thing or
another since I was 12, after a while I forget what I'm cheering for,
I still cheer on the weekends sometimes, but I haven't taken my
cheerleading sneakers out of the closet for a while, the hand grips
are worn anyway.
Greg: They could be useful around here.
Diane: I don't think I'd want to do a routine in work, no time anyway.
Greg: Oh, of course not…hey you want to go out sometime, to a club
maybe, or a movie? Mel Gibson is starring in a remake of the Little
Mermaid?
Diane: That sounds GREAT.
Greg: How about tonight?
Diane:Sure!
[Cut to Bruce's cube. Greg and Bruce both have heavy sweaters, and
wool knit fingerless gloves on. They are talking to Tony - in the form
of the Evil Bunny Pez Dispenser. The head moves up and down as we hear
his voice. The eyes glow red.]
Tony: What about VoidStarZ?
Bruce:No calls in weeks…we didn't plan on it but it's working to our
advantage.
Tony: Is everyone still doing the coding assignments I designed?
Greg: Um..yeah, they even have your suits on display as kind of a
memorial thing.
Tony: That's nice, does Victor still have his truck?
Bruce: You haven't been dead that long, he won't finish the payments
on that behemoth until 2007. He brought his other car to work in the
back of it last week.
Tony: And what about Miles? Is he still hacking the mail server for fun?
Greg:He's been sending mail out as you for a few days now. You've been
giving really good advice on how to dress for success. Of course he
also let the world know you were a bartender before you started
working here.
Tony: And Janet?
[Greg and Bruce look at each other. Camera view rises over Bruce's
cube, three cubes away a crowd of people sound like they're having a
party. Every few minutes a colored streamer flies through the air.]
Bruce: She's still in mourning for you…she's actually been taking more
calls, you know burying herself in her work.
[The sounds of dance music can be heard from Janet's cube]
Greg: We barely see her anywhere but in her cube anymore.
Tony: Well guys, after the smell of that lunch I need to take a nap.
[The glowing red eyes dim, and turn to black]
Bruce: I just haven't had the heart to tell him…
Greg: Me either….anyway, I have a date with Diane….I should be able to
get a hold of Charlie's file early next week.
Bruce: Good, I managed to dispose of Dan's body, but I hope they don't
find it soon.
Greg: What was wrong?
Bruce: Charlie beat the stupid bastard to death with one of his
crutches.
Greg: Is that why you ran in here the other day?
Bruce: Yeah…Dan started to explain the realities of corporate culture,
and what drove it. Charlie flipped.
Greg: Then why did you run in here yesterday?
Bruce: I could smell the Cajun shark from the parking lot…by the time
I found Charlie it was too late, I can't believe he cooked it again.
Greg: Too late for what?
Bruce: The spices and the odor caused him to flashback…I found him in
the server room rollerblading around naked. He was singing In
UnGavaDaVita in Portugese.
Greg: So what's in the file, the killing, or the roller blading thing?
Bruce: Neither, he was late twice last week, I don't want him to get
written up.
Greg: His snowmobile breakdown again?
Bruce: Naah, ultralite cut out over 128, he had to go the rest of the
way on his mountain bike.
[Cut to the BasciallyGUI! LeadTech Aisle. Dave sits in his cube as
Julietta finishes stringing concertina wire around the top edges of
the cube]
Dave: Is this entirely necessary Julietta?
Julie: We need to give them the idea that it has to be really
important to come over this way, I have about 200 cases in the
Internet Receptacle. Besides, they can call us on the Answer Line.
Dave: Someone might get hurt?
Julie: That's why I'm playing the new age music….they'll calm
down…move slower.
Dave: [under his breath] Bruce makes more sense sometimes.
Julie: Oh, some weird guy dropped this paper off to you.
[Julie adjusts her long bead necklace which hangs nearly to the
floor. Dave takes the paper and reads it]
Dave: The jellystone Rules for Corporate Survival. One: Never let them
know you're a Yogi. Always act like a BooBoo. Always know where the
ranger is.
Julie: Those guys were whacked. How many people are religious guru's
anyway?
[Julie lights a stick of incense and begins to water her plants]
Dave: Yeah those guys from MOFO-XPRO/Version Vault are friggin weird.